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The Resolution Resolution

I wrote this column last year and I’m offering it again because the resolution is the same and unfortunately, the results probably will be too.  I only changed the year.

I am making only one resolution for 2024:  No resolutions! Why?  Because I never keep them, so why bother? Here is a list of my broken promises to myself:

1.       Lose weight. Oh, of course, I’m the ONLY person in Florida who has resolved to do this and failed. Ever been to a Weight Watchers meeting the first week of the new year?  Then check it out again a couple of months later? 

2.       Eat healthier.  I kept that one till I caught a whiff of Five Guys as I walked past in mid-January.

3.       Exercise more.   I actually stuck with this one a whole month until I got “busy” with work. 

4.       Be a more courteous driver.  Wellll, that one lasted till the first time I was cut off in traffic.

5.       Be nicer to my husband.  He will tell you this one never got off the launch pad.

6.       Buy fewer shoes.  .  I kept this one till I realized I really NEEDED a good pair of walking shoes. It wasn’t about style; it was about my back after all. 

7.       Watch less TV and read more.  I did pretty well with this one, since I like to read, until the novel I finished was made into a TV series.  I mean, I HAD to watch to see if they had done justice to the book, right?

8.       Do my own housework.  This one was a complete non-starter.  It was nice to THINK about all the money I’d save, but it seems unfair, somehow, to the people who do this for a living. I remember hearing during the Reagan Administration the term “trickle down economy."  So, I'm trickling already. 


I’m sure there were other resolutions, but they’re lost to time and shame at my lack of self-discipline. I keep hoping some clever scientist will invent a “backbone” pill to strengthen my resolve. 

Until then, I’ll waddle along through my Old School life in my unfit unhealthiness, driving like a maniac and snarling at my husband. But I’ll have great shoes and know the TV schedule by heart. There are compensations, after all.   


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